Vorocka Movie Act One

INT. DRUMS – PRACTICE ROOM – HOUSE – DAY

TERRY (Colour)
So I get off my face sometimes, doesn’t affect my playing, what are you implying?

INT. POLICE CAR – NIGHT

CONSTABLE (Colour)
I couldn’t think of a better bloke to show me the ropes, what is it that you’re implying?

EXT. FOOTPATH – DAY

ROBIN (Colour)
If I wanted to stand out I would get a face tattoo! What are you trying to imply?

INT. FRONT DESK – POLICE STATION – DAY

SARGENT SMYTH (Colour)
I have always remained impartial and conducted my self with the upmost integrity. What exactly are you implying?

EXT. FRONT YARD – EDDIES HOUSE – DAY

EDDIE (Colour)
So I’ve been a little lost lately WHAT OF IT!

EXT. TRAFFIC LIGHTS – MELBOURNE – FIRDAY NIGHT

Stopped at red traffic lights EDDIE VONROCKA is doing some air guitar. Finishes on a pretend pick slide up the guitar neck. Cousin TERRY has a laugh.

TERRY
You wish!

Terry dares Eddie into doing a right hand turn before oncoming traffic takes off once the lights turn green.

TERRY
Go on mate, I fucking dare ya, beat the traffic, if you can!

Eddie accepts. Turns up music similar to Metallica song “Fight Fire With Fire” LOUDER and REVS engine hard. Car when fast part of song begins.

EDDIE
Really? You don’t think I can’t get around the corner before they take off?

TERRY
That’s the dare.

EDDIE
Too easy mate, too fucken easy!

Lights go green. Eddie floors it. Tyre burning right hand turn in front of stunned oncoming traffic. Notices a police car positioned just behind first car.

EDDIE
Aw shit! The cops!

TERRY
Mate what ya gonna do?

EDDIE
Tezza I’m going for it! They’ll impound the car if I stop now!

TERRY
Ya better floor it then!

Eddie shifts through the gears to go even faster. Panicked eyes constantly look to rear vision mirror.

INT. POLICE CAR – MAIN STREET – NIGHT

SMYTH reacts by turning flashing lights and siren on. Car in front frustratingly stalls. BLASTS car horn.

SMYTH
Get out of the way! Move it you moron! Get on the radio son and let command know we could be in a chase situation!

CONTSTABLE
Hello base, be aware we may have a stolen car on our hands, they do not appear to be stopping.

INT. FRONT CAR – MAIN STREET – NIGHT

Pimple faced Learner driver THOMAS tries to restart the car. Mother BETTY encourages him to remain calm.

THOMAS
It wont start, I think I flooded it?

BETTY
Foot off the accelerator and try again. Remember driving at night is just the same as daytime driving, only darker.

THOMAS
But mum they keep honking!

BETTY
Well unless they can fly they’ll have to wait, now try again.

THOMAS
Hey it started!

BETTY
Well done Thomas, now release the hand brake and gently accelerate.

INT. POLICE CAR – MAIN STREET – NIGHT

SYMTH
For fuck sake move that car!

Front car finally moves so police car can turn left to initiate chase. Eddie’s car is only just in sight.

INT. EDDIES CAR – STREET – NIGHT – CONTINUES

Eyes repeatedly to rear vision mirror. Flashing lights behind. Girl on pushbike onto footpath and stops. Dog on leash barks LOUDLY. All pedestrians stop to watch.

EDDIE
Tezza, look out for any upcoming streets, let me know when you see one and then yell out what side!

TERRY
Up there, just up there, left!

EDDIE
Thatta boy!

Brakes screech as Eddie makes a fast left hand turn. Car swings out wide and just misses parked car. Old couple about to cross road stop and worriedly look on.

INT. POLICE CAR – STREET – NIGHT – CONTINUES

Smyth questions if number plates were identified.

SMYTH
Did you get the plates son?

CONSTABLE
Sorry sir the car in front blocked my view!

SMYTH
The diver looked like young Eddie Vonrocka!

CONSTABLE
If you say so sir.

SMYTH
Just like his father, a total menace!

INT. EDDIES CAR – STREET – NIGHT – CONTINUES

TERRY
What now, what are we gonna do?

EDDIE
Another, find another street!

TERRY
Left again Eddie, there!

Eddie initiates another radical turn. Next street is dimmer with more curves. Police sirens follow close by.

EDDIE
We can lose them on the bends!

TERRY
Then what Eddie? We’re fucked once they catch up to us. You wont outrun them in this!

Eddie manoeuvres through street’s tight curves.

EDDIE
Just find a dark house with a driveway.

TERRY
Eddie there’s one up there on the right, about ten doors down.

EDDIE
Hang on!

EXT. BACKYARD – HOUSE – NIGHT

Hits the brakes and manages to get car into the driveway. Into backyard. Lights and engine turned off.

TERRY
Eddie, you’re a fucking legend!

EDDIE
We’re not out of the woods yet.

TERRY
Whatta ya mean?

EDDIE
They might have got me plates? Plus we still gotta get home.

Police siren CLOSER. Eddie sneaks a peak towards the street. Police car flashes past. Keeps going.

EDDIE
I can’t believe it. They kept going, they mustn’t ave seen us?

TERRY
Classic, what a fucking classic! Eddie I would have stopped but not you, ya fucking maniac!

EDDIE
Well let’s just say me old man wouldn’t have stopped either. Especially if he thought old man Smythy was after im!

Feeling safe police have continued on they burst out laughing while relieving themselves against the fence.

TERRY
Fuck mate, I can’t believe it, we were in a police chase and actually got away with it!

EDDIE
Good job navigating Terry, good job for sure mate.

TERRY
Maybe we should call the new band “Police Chase”

EDDIE
Nah fuck that, we can come up with something better.

TERRY
How about The Hoons?

EDDIE
Not bad Terry, not bad at all, I’ll keep that in mind!

TERRY
So how long are we gonna stay here Eddie?

EDDIE
As long as fucking possible!

From the darkness comes the unexpected voice of an elderly lady sitting on back porch of the house.

OLD LADY
Hello, what do you boys want?

Terry looks to Eddie in disbelief. Whispers.

TERRY
What the fuck?

EDDIE
Relax, I’ll handle it.

Silhouette of old lady holds up phone. Screen light comes on. She waves the phone to get their attention.

OLD LADY
What are you boys doing here? Do I need to call the police?

EDDIE
No need mam, I’m sorry we didn’t knock, we just thought it was better to come straight around the back where the wheels are.

OLD LADY
The wheels?

Eddie points to some rusty old mag wheels near a shed.

EDDIE
We’ve come to buy the mag wheels off Davo.

OLD LADY
Davo? Who’s Davo? What is this?

EDDIE
Davo said to come around and buy the wheels. That’s why we’re here.

OLD LADY
No Davo here, besides those wheels were here when I moved in two years ago, are you sure you have the correct address?

EDDIE
I am sorry if we scared you, I’m sure we’ve got the right place.

Eddie sees flashing police light reflection out front.

INT. POLICE CAR – SIDE STREET – NIGHT – CONTINUES

Smyth decides to pull car over up the road a little to the left. Turns lights off.

SMYTH
Let’s just wait here for a minute and see what happens.

CONSTABLE
We’ll get them yet boss.

EXT. BACKYARD – HOUSE – NIGHT – CONTINUES

TERRY
As me mate says, we are sorry to have scared you. Maybe Davo was playing a prank on us?

EDDIE
A prank! Bloody Davo

TERRY
Looks like we fell for it hook line and sinker!

OLD LADY
I think you better go now, don’t you?

EDDIE
I think we’re on the end of a bad joke. So sorry to have bothered you.

TERRY
Are you sure the wheels aren’t for sale?

EDDIE
Shut up Tezza!

TERRY
We’ll get going. Once again we’re both very sorry for the mistake.

OLD LADY
You better be off then.

Eddie cautiously looks towards waiting street before entering car. Gently starts engine and tries to be as quiet as possible while exiting. Leaves car lights off.

TERRY
Don’t forget the car lights.

EDDIE
Not yet mate.

Lights and sirens suddenly go on. Smyth has seen a car and pursues. Eddie exits and drives off other way.

INT – POLICE CAR – SIDE STREET – CONTINUES

SMYTH
We got them now!

Suspect car ahead instantly pulls over to kerb. Police car pulls up closely behind.

SMYTH
Radio it in son, we got them!

CONSTABLE
Base be aware we are about to apprehend suspected stolen car, they have pulled over. No need for assistance, over.

BASE
Well done boys!

Hand on side arm Smyth quickly runs towards car. Inside car elderly man fiddles with his seatbelt.

SMYTH
Don’t move!

OLD MAN (Jittery)
How did you know I didn’t have my seatbelt on?

SMYTH
Just make sure to always engage your seatbelt when driving, ok.

OLD MAN
I certainly will from now on.

INT. EDDIES CAR – SIDE STREET – NIGHT

Eddie drives around a bend as behind flashing police lights disappear from view. He turns car lights on.

EDDIE
Fuck, I can’t believe that just happened!

TERRY
Imagine the shit we’d be in if she had rang the cops!

EDDIE
I know we got lucky for sure!

TERRY
Still time to go and see The Fucks Ups, whatta reckon?

EDDIE
Fuck yeah, let’s do it!

EXT. BACKYARD – HOUSE – NIGHT – CONTINUES

Wiry old lady angrily pokes rusty mag wheels with cane.

OLD LADY
Bugger I could have had some money for the pokies!

INT. POLICE CAR – NIGHT – CONTINUES

SMYTH
I’m sure that was Eddie Vonrocka!

CONSTABLE
I’ll let base know we got the wrong car.

INT. PUB – STAGE – NIGHT

On stage topless singer TOBY from THE FUCK UPS slices into his chest with a jagged crushed up can while singing “Losing my way”

He jumps in MOSH PIT as crowd CHEER on and gather around to douse him in beer. Punked out bodies bounce and push each other as beer erupts everywhere. One punk falls and is quickly picked up by others.

Further back from stage Eddie and Terry watch on and greet friend DANNY. Danny introduces a Bass Player named ROBIN.

EDDIE
Danny, how are ya been? What’s been happening?

DANNY
Been good, sorry to hear about your old man, Wolf was a legend!

EDDIE
Don’t sweat it, shit happens.

DANNY
Fucking good band eh.

EDDIE
Forget The Dead Kennedys, we got Toby and The Fuck Ups!

TERRY
I nearly joined the beer shower but I’m bit too thirsty tonight after what just happened!

Eddie elbows Terry in the ribs indicating to shut up. On stage Toby wipes blood from chest onto his face and LAUGHS at the organised chaos in front of him.

DANNY
Yep nothing like a little self mutilation to keep the masses happy! Hey there’s Robin, she’s a really good bass player. You should meet her!

Danny waves Robin over. Mohawk, Doc Martin boots, knee high socks, tartan skirt with a back singlet. TATTOOS.

DANNY
Hey Robin how’s it going? This is Eddie and Terry, their gonna start up a new punk band.

ROBIN
Hey Eddie! Yeah I heard around the traps ya might be looking for a bass player?

EDDIE
Nah not at the moment but thanks for asking though.

ROBIN
If you change your mind let Danny know. I’m between gigs and happy to do some writing and practice, you know just keep busy.

EDDIE
Onya Robin, I’ll keep in mind.

Robin skulls her beer, SLAMS it on the bar and eagerly heads towards the stage to join the mosh pit. DIVES in.

TERRY
What the fuck man? She’s hot!

EDDIE
It’s a boys band not Josie and the fucking Pussycats. Back in the day when me dad was rocking they didn’t need tits and ass to get attention, the music was enough.

TERRY
Are you fucking kidding? Get a sexy chick who can actually play and you’re halfway there.

EDDIE
Fuck that, the Sex Pistols didn’t need a chick to get success.

TERRY
Yeah just look at how it worked out for Sid and Nancy!

DANNY
You’re stuck in the old days mate. Take a good look around and you’ll see there’s as many girls in bands as the boys these days.

EDDIE
Nup, just not feeling it Danny.

DANNY
Well keep her in mind, she’s a great bass player!

Terry looks to Danny. Rolls his eyes. Eddie looks away and skulls his beer. Robin now in middle of mosh pit.

TERRY
Don’t worry I’ll work on him.

LARGE bouncer throwing out a Mosh Pit “Sniper”

BOUNCER
I warned you!

SNIPER
Bullshit.

BOUNCER
You do it every fricking time, ya stand back and then hit someone from behind and run off.

SNIPER
Fuck you, that’s bullshit!

Bouncer shuffles sniper towards exit. Sniper swipes at beer glass in observer’s hand. Beer goes FLYING.

BOUNCER
You’re banned for two weeks!

SNIPER
Fuck you man!

BOUNCER
Make that a month ya stupid prick!

Sniper continues protesting as he is pushed out door.

TERRY
That wanker does it every time.

DANNY
Probably better he gets kicked before he gets knocked out!

TERRY
Check it out, he’s still carrying going on. What a fucking clown.

Sniper is protesting to anyone walking past or that looks at him. Gets last warning.

BOUNCER
Away from the door or it’s a lifetime ban! Damn Punks!

SNIPER(Walks off)
Cunt.

EXT. DRIVEWAY – EDDIES HOUSE – DAY

Next day Terry and Eddie look over the car after last night’s police chase. Eddie BURSTS out laughing.

EDDIE
Ha ha ha.

TERRY
What? What’s so funny?

EDDIE
You wouldn’t believe it!

TERRY
Eddie? What the fuck is so funny?

EDDIE
Remember when I said the cops might have got me number plates.

TERRY
Yeah, what about it?

Eddie falls to the ground in hysterics while pointing to his car.

EDDIE
Some cunt stole me plates! They swapped the fucken plates over! Tezza, they’re not my plates!

TERRY
Dude you gotta be kidding, no way! The cops will never know it was you! You’re in the clear!

EDDIE
One slight problem mate.

TERRY
What?

EDDIE
People normally steal plates to rob a bank or something!

TERRY
Oh fuck, when you put it that way perhaps it that aint so good. Maybe they just want them for a servo drive off. So what now?

EDDIE
Just go down to the cop shop and tell em me plates were knicked. Actually I better fuck off and do that now before old Smythy and the riot squad are at the door!

TERRY
Are you gonna drive?

EDDIE
Nah, might be pushing me luck there! Besides I better get rid

(CONT’D)
of those plates just in case they’re also stolen?

TERRY
Good point give em here and I’ll fuck em up good and proper!

EDDIE
Don’t forget to recycle!

TERRY
Ha ha sure thing.

Eddie points to his head and then his stomach.

EDDIE
Up here for thinking and down ere for drinking, got that!

INT. FRONT DESK – POLICE STATION – DAY

Eddie argues with old Sargent Smyth about the plates.

EDDIE
Mate I can only tell you what I know, me plates were stolen and I’m ere to inform you bout it.

SMYTH
So you know nothing about a police chase last night?

EDDIE
Uh, no, I told you I was at the pub watching The Fuck Ups.

SMYTH
I wont tell you again, no swearing!

EDDIE
It’s the band’s name! Look I’ve done the right thing and let you know. now I’m going to Vic Roads to cancel the reg.

Eddie walks towards exit.

SMYTH
Hey Eddie, I remember your old man all too well. In fact I still can’t believe your mother chose him over me. We’re gonna be watching you real closely from now on!

EXT. CAR – STREET – DAY – FLASHBACK – 1995

Dressed in 1970’s Sharpie attire. Connie Cardigan, Staggers overalls and AcDc T-Shirt WOLFGANG Vonrocka argues with young Police Constable Smyth.

WOLFGANG
There’s nothing wrong with the brakes, they work fine!

SMYTH
So why did you skid like that?

WOLFGANG
Because I fucking wanted to!

SMYTH
So you are admitting to dangerous driving.

WOLFGANG
I’m admitting nothing, there was a cat on the road so I decided to skid the car rather than hit it!

SMYTH
Strange, I didn’t see a cat?

WOLFGANG (Pointing)
Well if ya had of been doing ya job properly instead of harassing me you would have! Look there it goes now.

SMYTH
Where?

WOLFGANG
Over there in that house’s front yard, what are ya blind or something?

SMYTH
Watch your attitude mate.

WOLFGANG
I got a receipt for recent brake repairs in the glove box if ya really wanna get into the nitty gritty.

Young boy in backseat starts crying.

WOLFGANG
Now look what ya done! Mate I got band practice, can I go?

POLICEMAN
You’re taking that young boy to your bands practice?

WOLFGANG
Yeah he fucking loves it!

POLICEMAN
We’ll be keeping an eye on you in future.

WOLFGANG
Of course ya will, cuntstable! Can I go now or what?

POLICEMAN
Try not to skid too much or your brakes will wear out and I’ll have to issue you with an un-roadworthy certificate!

WOLFGANG
I keep me car in good nick so no problems there, I’m off, hooroo!

INT. FRONT DESK – POLICE STATION – DAY – CONTINUES

EDDIE
If that’s all I’m off.

Once outside he gives Police Station front door the middle finger and shakes his head.

INT. EDDIES HOUSE – DAY

LOUD Punk style music blasting out from inside. Eddie and Terry are practicing. Terry suggests going online to find a bass player. Eddie is none too keen.

TERRY
Eddie, it’s the best way these days. There’s always plenty of people online looking to join a band.

EDDIE
What are ya gonna do? Go to Bookface?

TERRY
Are you kidding? It’s called Facebook ya silly cunt!

EDDIE
Once you’re on that shit everyone knows your business!

TERRY
That’s the point, let everyone know what your up to. Even let em know you need new band members!

EDDIE
If you wanna do that crap it’s up to you, just don’t mention me!

TERRY
Mate, I’m telling ya it works!

EDDIE
That terminator dude will be at the door by next week!

TERRY
You’re such a luddite!

EDDIE(Angry)
What did you just call me?

TERRY
Eddie, mellow, a luddite is someone who doesn’t like change.

Shakes his head in disbelief of Terry’s knowledge.

EDDIE
Yeah ya got that bit right I guess. Now pass me a beer cobber!

Terry passes a beer and Eddie makes a toast.

EDDIE
All hail the luddites! Cheers!

TERRY
You’re a crack up mate, going up the pub later?

EDDIE
What do you reckon?

INT. BAR – VENUE – SATURDAY NIGHT

COFFIN WOLF are ripping up the stage. Eddie orders a couple of beers from punked out female bartender SMASH.

EDDIE
Two beers thanks Smasha!

SMASH
The usual?

EDDIE (Laughing)
None of that fucking craft shit!

SMASH
Cheap and nasty it is then!

EDDIE
Cheap and nasty just like me!

SMASH
Two nasty’s coming up!

EDDIE
Cheers, thanks Smasha!

TERRY
Hey Eddie I got it, we’ll call ourselves the Luddites!

EDDIE
Bullshit, I aint growing no beard and looking like a cranky old Steampunk hillbilly, keep trying!

Band finishes. A punter in the crowd yells out.

PUNTER
Now play something fast!

Crowd laugh. Terry now notices a strange sight nearby.

TERRY
Hey Eddie how come that dude’s just standing there giving you the middle finger?

Eddie refuses to look.

EDDIE
Let me guess, he’s tall skinny with a Hollywood smile?

TERRY
Not too sure about the smile but ya got the rest right. Who is it?

EDDIE
It’s fucken Lindsay from A.K.F

TERRY
A.K.F?

EDDIE
Australian Kingswood Factory, great band but he always gives my shit ever since I said there was no way Richmond could win the flag.

TERRY
Oh I see, ha ha check it out!

EDDIE
What? What now?

TERRY
There’s two more of them.

EDDIE
Aw fuck that’ll be Jimmy the bass player and Karl the drummer.

Eddie raises his beer and graciously accepts the laughter heading his way.

EDDIE
Ha ha very funny boys!

TERRY
They got you good!

EDDIE
No shit, Tezza. I’ll buy him a beer while he’s on stage later and he might drop it after that?

TERRY
Do ya reckon?

EDDIE
Probably not, ah fuck him. Go Pies!

Eddie buys a beer at the bar and offers it to Lindsay who’s on stage. He walks off. A.K.F is playing “Devils Right Hand Man” The band instantly stops.

LINDSAY
What about the rest of the band? They drink too!

Eddie walks off and raises middle finger in response.
Crowd burst out laughing. Band starts up again.

INT. LOUNGE ROOM – EDDIES HOUSE – DAY

Eddie on DISTORTED guitar and Terry on drums are practicing. Old lady next door in front yard smiles away while remembering Eddies dad, Wolfgang.

EXT. FRONT YARD – WOLFGANGS HOUSE – DAY – FLASHBACK

MRS SIMMONS has a chat with Wolfgang about his music.

MRS SIMMONS
You’re lucky young fella!

WOLFGANG
How so Mrs Simmons?

MRS SIMMONS
If I had better hearing you would be getting some complaints!

WOLFGANG
Hey I’ll turn down the bass a little and should fix it!

MRS SIMMONS
Well I guess I could live with it if you help me out a little?

WOLFGANG
Of course I’ll mow your lawn, that’s what you were wondering weren’t ya!

MRS SIMMONS
You’re a good boy Wolfgang!

WOLFGANG
Call me Wolfy Mrs Simmons.

MRS SIMMONS
You know what me old husband used to say?

WOLFGANG
Nah, what?

MRS SIMMONS
Call me anything but late for dinner!

WOLFGANG
You’re a classic Mrs Simmons, I’ll do the lawn for ya during the week, ok?

MRS SIMMONS
Thanks Wolfgang, er Wolf.

WOLFGANG
Hooroo luv!

INT. LOUNGE ROOM – EDDIES HOUSE – DAY – CONTINUES

TERRY
Maybe we should just stay as a two piece band?

EDDIE
What? No way!

TERRY
RAT HEAD are a good example of how good a two piece can work.

Five second view of Rat Head RIPPING up the stage.

INT. LOUNGE ROOM – EDDIES HOUSE – DAY – CONTINUES

EDDIE
We need a bass player to get a really full sound. Fuck I’d rather have another guitarist in the band as well.

TERRY
For a punk band?

EDDIE
Not every song has to go a thousand miles an hour and thrash out!

TERRY
Let me guess, hard rock, just like your old man used to play?

Eddies stays silent and just smiles.

INT. PUB – STAGE – NIGHT – FLASHBACK

Wolfgang’s band SWITCH BLADE (Fictitious) are playing loud rock music. Older age crowd adore them. Sharpie style girls jump up on stage to kiss the band members. Five seconds of “Down For The Count” (Original Song)

WOLFGANG (Singing)
Down for the count, I never been down for the count.

INT. LOUNGE ROOM – EDDIES HOUSE – DAY – CONTINUES

EDDIE
Hard rock was here first.

TERRY
Well ya got me full attention while we’re a punk band, that’s all I got to say about that.

Eddie reveals his new song.

EDDIE
How about this for our new song.

It’s never what
It’s never what
It’s never what you, what you want
It’s never what
It’s never what
It’s never what you, what you want

Never Never, what you want!
Never Never, what you want!
It’s never oi! It’s never oi!
Oi Oi Oi Never oi!

TERRY
Is that it?

EDDIE
Mate I’m not trying to rewrite the bible, besides, it’s not as if you can understand the lyrics in any other punk song lately!

TERRY
Well ya got the Oi part right I guess.

EDDIE
Just get the crowd to sing along, they’ll fucking love it. Besides it’s not as if this shit’s gonna make you famous or anything.

TERRY
What are you saying?

EDDIE
Hey where are all these other band members that are so easy to find online?

TERRY
Mate I’m onto it later this arvo, after the guitar shop ok?

EDDIE
Remember, it’s a lad’s band.

TERRY
Leave it with me.

INT. GUITAR SHOP – DAY

Eddie and Terry looking at music gear. Robin walks in. Terry abruptly makes excuse to momentarily leave.

EDDIE
Check out the quad box, what a pearla!

TERRY
Hang on mate I gotta go outside for moment.

EDDIE
Going for a smoke?

TERRY
Nah, I think I just saw an old mate from Shepparton way.

Terry leaves guitar shop and meets up with rough looking dude. Looks around and discreetly exchanges a small satchel for money. He soon returns back inside.

EXT. FOOTPATH – DAY

DUDE
Mate ya got it?

TERRY
Yeah man, relax, just be cool.

DUDE
Hey it’s real good shit!

TERRY
Here it is. I gotta get back inside. If me mate finds out what I’m up to I’ll be fucked, he’ll rip me head clean off.

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